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hatshepsut2011_03_22_034Yule and Saturnalia are not the only “Pagan” holidays to occur at this time of year. The Kemetic holiday of the Establishment of the Celestial Cow, colloquially known as “Moomas,” also occurs during this season, usually toward the end of December in the Northern Hemisphere. This year, according to some religious calendars (as there is no standardized, universal civil and religious calendar for all Kemetics, depending heavily upon when and where each Kemetic celebrates Wep-Ronpet, the Kemetic New Year), Moomas conveniently falls on December 25th.

The festival of the Establishment of the Celestial Cow revolves around the exultation of Mehet-Weret, Hathor (and/or Neith) as the Goddess Nut in the form of a great cow or cow-headed deity, Who personifies the glorified heavens and the forces and concepts of Creation and rebirth so common to Egyptian religion. It is the time when the retirement of Ra to the Heavens on the back of Hathor/Nut as Sky-Cow is remembered.

Despite the somber if not mournful nature of the occasion, some Kemetics, particularly members of the Kemetic Orthodox Temple, incorporate rather spirited Western secularized Christmas traditions into their personal celebrations of the festival of the Establishment of the Celestial Cow. They take the opportunity to send one-another “Moomas cards,” and some have even taken to making Kemetic-themed parodies of famous Christmas carols, such as Santa Claus is Coming To Town! and Here Comes Santa Claus.

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Courtesy of Helmsman of Inepu at Kemetic Reconnaissance, here are a couple Moomas carols for your enjoyment:

Yinepu is Coming to Town!
(To the tune of Santa Claus is Coming to Town!)

Oh… you better not cause
the children to cry.
You better not steal,
I’m tellin’ you why:
Yinepu is coming to town!

He’s adjusting the scales,
with a feather of Ma’at,
He’s gonna find out
if your heart’s good or not.
Yinepu is coming to town!

He’s Master of the Secrets,
He’s Keeper of the Gate.
He’s Lord of the Necropolis,
So be good for Nebt-Het‘s sake!

Don’t stir up strife,
you better not lie,
don’t violate tombs,
I’m tellin’ you why:
Yinepu is coming to town.

Little khepesh,
ushabti that walk,
floating toy barques,
and jackals that talk.
Yinepu is coming to town.

Little menats
that rattle and shake,
Hethert mirrors,
and iron heka snakes.
Yinepu is coming to town.

The kids in Girl and Boy Land have
a jubilee right now.
They’re making Moomas offerings to
Mehet-Weret the Celestial Cow!

Oh… You better not plunder
offering cakes.
You better not mess with
balance scale weights:

Yinepu is comin’
Yinepu is comin’
Yinepu is comin’
To town!

Here Comes Wepwawet
(To the tune of Here Comes Santa Claus)

Here comes Wepwawet, here comes Wepwawet,
Openin’ the Wepwawet way!
He’s got a sledge pulled by Golden Jackals,
Pullin’ on the reins!
Sistra are shakin’, merry makin’
All is merry and bright!
Light your incense, make your offerings,
‘Cause Wepwawet comes tonight!

Here comes Wepwawet, here comes Wepwawet,
Openin’ the Wepwawet way!
He’s got a sledge that’s filled with toys,
For boys and girls again!
Hear those menats ruslin’, rattlin’,
Oh what a beautiful sight!
So jump in bed and cover your head,
‘Cause Wepwawet comes tonight!

Here comes Wepwawet, here comes Wepwawet,
Openin’ the Wepwawet way!
He doesn’t care if you’re rich or poor,
He loves you just the same!
Wepwawet knows we’re Netjer’s children,
That makes everything right!
So fill your hearts with Moomas cheer
‘Cause Wepwawet comes tonight!

Here comes Wepwawet, here comes Wepwawet,
Openin’ the Wepwawet way!
When the stars align with the Celestial Cow,
It’s Moomas time again!
If we all align with Ma’at,
The world can be happy and bright!
So let’s all sing: Dua! Dua! Dua! Dua!
‘Cause Wepwawet comes tonight!

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